2003-11-23 - 6:18 p.m.

I invited this really special guy I worked with to my home for a nice home-cooked meal. About an hour before he arrived I started doing the last few things, make sure the table was set, that the salad, dessert and rolls were ready before finishing up the main dish, Quiche, and getting dressed. I started making the quiche and things went downhill from there, here's what not to do on a making-a-dinner date -

Mix six eggs with cheese, milk, flour and chopped onions. Go back to your bedroom and roll hair with hotrollers strip down to your skivvies while the oven heats to 350. Pour egg mixture into a greased quiche pan and start to put it in the hot oven. Accidentally spill the contents of the quiche pan onto the bottom of the oven, panick and grab the hot oven rack, giving yourself second degree burns on both hands. Shriek and back away from the oven, grabbing butter to rub on hands and cold bottle of wine to drown pain with. As you stand there guzzling wine look over just in time to see flames shooting out of your oven when the spilled quiche catches on fire. Try to douse the flames with wine, causing it flame out of control. Stand on the sidewalk in your undies with burned hands crying like mad and guzzling left over wine while the local fire dept tries to keep your apartment from burning to the ground.

It was about this time that my date arrived, me, burned hands, banshee hair and in my undies standing on the sidewalk in front of my apartment, drunken and crying. There wasn't a second date...

 

 

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